Eid and Borneo

As Ramadan draws to a close, everyone in this part of the world is getting excited about Eid al-Fitr and the time off it brings.  Eid is essentially the celebration that breaks the Ramadan fast and a time when Muslims are supposed to be particularly charitable to those in need.  It also means that we get the entirety of next week off work. 

To add to our good fortune, today happens to be Oman's 44th Renaissance Day Anniversary, which is the day that the Sultan took control over Oman from his father.  Today would ordinarily be a holiday, but instead the Ministry of Manpower in Oman elected to give us tomorrow off, which means everyone gets a nice 10-day holiday. 

I suspect Muscat will be pretty much a ghost town for the next 10 days, so I'm glad that I had already booked a vacation for next week before the announcement, since fares and prices have skyrocketed after the announcement came out on Monday of this week (seriously, I have no idea how Muslims plan vacations since their holidays are always determined at the last minute).  So I'm off to Borneo for 10 days to traipse through jungles, see orangutans and relax on a beach!  Here's my itinerary:

To put a little bit of a damper on the trip, I've been getting frequent warnings from the US State Department not to go to Borneo since there's been a slew of kidnappings of Westerners from the Sandakan region (see right side of the map above).  The State Department has also warned me not to go because of an epidemic of dengue fever there recently.  Oh, and I'm flying Malaysian Airlines, which hasn't had the best of luck lately. 

And since bad things happen in threes, that means I'll be totally fine, right?  Three bad things have already happened (or are happening, in the case of the first two), so I think that means I'll have a fabulous time and see lots of orangutans.  However, since I'm totally Type A, my mother has every single emergency contact number I could possibly think of (including my company's security guy, in case I need a rescue mission (how cool would that be?!?)) and a promise that she will come to Oman and retrieve my cat in the event of my unlikely demise on a beach in Borneo. 

So I'll be back in August with [hopefully] fabulous pictures of fuzzy orange primates to share and maybe a funny story or two about my kidnapping experience (Mom, I'm totally kidding - I won't be kidnapped)!

It's time for you to get married

So I popped home for lunch today while my Sri Lankan maid happened to be there.  We were having a nice chat and seemingly out of nowhere she said, "It's time for you to get married." 

I was caught off guard but quickly said, "I have to find someone first!"

She shook her head in dismay and said "You are too old.  Time to get married."  Her tone of voice intimated that I was procrastinating against doing something inevitable, like paying a bill. 

"I'm trying, but it's not easy to meet someone.  I work a lot, move a lot for work..."

"Oman is a good place for a husband.  Find one."  Well, then, I guess I'm under orders to try harder...

But in all seriousness, my single status is something that many people find alarming here.  From a cultural perspective, I'm an old maid by Omani and sub-continent (what's a better term I can use when I want to refer to India/Pakistan/Sri Lanka?) standards.  Almost every older Omani I meet is shocked and concerned that I moved to a foreign country on my own and that I'm not married yet, since most Omanis marry in their early 20s.  But since everyone is so nice here, their first reaction is to try to help or offer advice, which is charming and embarrassing all at the same time.  The younger Omanis have generally spent a lot of time in the UK or the US, so they're not quite as alarmed by me. 

However, it's not just a cultural thing.  Almost every single expat wife I've met, shortly after meeting me, says "You're on your own? How are you going to date here?!?"  And my answer every single time, "I have no idea!" with a big smile on my face. 

The good news is that I think every wife I've met is now on the lookout for any eligible guy for me since they're so worried about me.  I think part of the shock is that I moved here on my own and the rest of the shock stems from the fact that there are very few expats in their 30s here and even fewer who are single.  And I'm sure it's going through their minds that I'm wasting my precious few years in my early 30s in a country where the dating pool is incredibly small and that by the time I move back to a place with a larger single population I'll truly be an old maid. 

To be totally honest, those are definitely thoughts I have from time to time, but I mostly find all the pressure/concern funny.  I'm on an adventure of a lifetime right now and having these experiences is far more important to me than worrying about whether I'll ever get married (and I've read the statistics -- I already had a less than 50% chance of getting married if I stayed in the US due to age, income, education, etc., so I'm sure it's much lower now that I'm outside the US). 

So while everyone else is worried about how I'm going to find a husband, I'm going to think about my trip to Borneo in a week and my trip to Japan four weeks after that.  And if a soul mate falls into my lap between all these amazing trips, even better. 

Ramadan in Oman

We're about smack dab in the middle of Ramadan right now, which I figured warranted a post since this is probably the toughest time to be an expat in a Muslim country (at first I typed "Middle East", but then recalled my previous advice and thought of a better phrase).

The Islamic month of Ramadan began on June 28, 2014 and is a month of fasting and spiritual discipline for all Muslims.  (Actually, to be a Muslim one has to comply with the 5 pillars of Islam, and Ramadan is one of those 5 pillars, so that tells you how important it is.)  During the daylight hours of Ramadan, a Muslim is required to abstain totally from food, drink (even water), tobacco and sensual pleasures.  So for an entire month, Muslims wake up before dawn (around 4 am right now), eat a large breakfast and then fast all day until sunset.  At sunset there are usually large dinner banquets and large celebrations, which is called iftar (iftar actually just means breakfast in Arabic, but during Ramadan it represents the break-the-fast feast).  Since everyone is staying up late at night and hungry during the day, the working day is shortened for Muslims during Ramadan -- most work from 7 am to 2 pm and then go home and sleep until iftar. 

Because people are working shortened days, the open hours for just about everything is screwed up during this month.  I went to the mall last week to find a pharmacy and the only two stores that were open during the day were the pharmacy and the grocery store.  So I guess even if you wanted to shop instead of eat, you're shit out of luck. 

I was familiar with the rules regarding Ramadan before I moved here, but I didn't fully appreciate the impact Ramadan would have on me.  Despite the fact that only around 50% of the population here is Omani and despite the fact that many of those Omanis don't fast due to age, sickness or menstruation*, it is forbidden for anyone, including non-Muslims, to eat, drink, or smoke in public during the day.  As a result, restaurants and coffee shops are closed during the day, so we can't so much as buy a cup of coffee during the day, much less lunch.  We are also advised to wear more-conservative-than-normal clothes and no perfume, since Muslims are trying to abstain from sensual thoughts and we don't want to make it more difficult for them.  The entire country is also dry during Ramadan (except for some hotels), so many of the restaurants that ordinarily would serve alcohol just shut down for the month of Ramadan.  It also means you can't do things like drink a bottle of water in your car or chew gum in public -- or risk a ticket from the police if you do. 

And from a safety perspective, you've got a bunch of really hungry people driving crazier than normal.  The American Embassy and my company actually warned us not to be on the roads from 1:30-2:30 pm (when Omanis are going home for the day) or from 6-7:30 pm (when Omanis are racing to get to their iftars) because the driving is so terrible.  And as terrible as the driving here is on a normal basis, it's definitely worse during Ramadan and I'd love to see some statistics on how many more accidents there are this month than normal. 

Most expats, especially the spouses of people working here, leave for the entire month of Ramadan.  Socializing pretty much grinds to a halt during this month and no one wants to risk getting a ticket for being forgetful and chewing a piece of gum.  I can only imagine the impact this has on small business owners of stores or restaurants -- you'd pretty much lose all business for one month, or only have business at night.

For the most part, I don't mind it.  I rarely go out to lunch and I have my own office, so I've continued to eat and drink at my desk (I think my Omani coworkers in my department just figure that they enter my office at their own risk), though the biggest problem is that people keep scheduling meetings during lunch.  I'm also not much of a drinker, so, other than a lot of restaurants being closed, I've barely noticed that the country is dry.  And since all the Omanis leave the office around 2, it's really nice and quiet in the afternoons here, which leaves me free to work on my Rosetta Stone Arabic lessons.

Last weekend the restrictions were really noticeable since I had a friend from the US in town.  I figured that we would eat lunch at home each day, but as an avid coffee drinker, my friend was pretty devastated that he couldn't get his Starbucks until sundown each day.  It was also awkward since we went on a day trip to Wadi Shab, which required us to pack a lunch and drink plenty of water while hiking.  During the hike we only saw expats, so we drank our water without concern.  But after the hike we were starving and dehydrated, so we had a picnic in the car even though there were a number of Omanis nearby.  I was too hungry/exhausted to care about getting a ticket, plus I figured that they were choosing to hang out in an area where they knew they'd be seeing expats in bathing suits or expats eating in cars, so they had to accept some amount of risk (I don't think my legal arguments about accepting risk would work over here, but it's still how my mind works). 



This is one of the goat friends we made at Wadi Shab. We gave them our banana peels and other food debris, so we had quite the pack of goats surrounding us.

So all in all, I don't mind Ramadan that much, though I can see why most expats get the hell out of town. Mostly I'm just ready for it to be over so that more people are in town and so that we go back to our regularly scheduled socializing. 

And finally, a terrible-quality picture of one of our spectacular mosques lit up at night (it's really hard to take decent pictures while stopped at a light!).

* During menstruation a woman is deemed as "unclean", so therefore can't participate in holy fasting.  As I understand it, a woman doesn't fast during her period but then must make up that period of time afterwards (i.e., keep fasting for a few days after Ramadan). 

Wadi Shab and Other Adventures

So I returned home from Europe with a cold.  My normal routine would be to stuff myself full of cold medicine and soup and spend a week or so being a little whinier than normal.  I figured being sick in Oman wouldn't be any different, but boy was I wrong. 

In the US if you need cold medicine you'd go to the pharmacy (or the grocery store or gas station or pretty much anywhere) and peruse the cold medicine aisle, which would probably have 15+ types of cold medicine.  Here, apparently you can only get medicine at a pharmacy and, at least as far as I've noticed, pharmacies are pretty much only in the malls. And for the month of Ramadan, the malls all have strange hours, so the first challenge was actually getting to a pharmacy.  The pharmacies here are all really small and there's no perusing involved -- you go up to the pharmacist and tell him what you need and he hands you something.  And cold medicine here comes in two types -- drowsy and non-drowsy.  So once I had the non-drowsy medicine in hand, I went in search of soup.

Again, back in the US, you could go to the grocery store and find literally hundreds of types of canned, refrigerated or boxed soup.  Here I found Cup O Soup and exactly two types of canned soup -- lentil (which is white here, not green) and tomato.  Neither exactly screamed "I have a cold and need to feel better soon", but I guess they were at least hot. 

And the worst part has been the tissues.  Since there's no Puffs Plus with Aloe here (or anything even remotely soft), I've been blowing my nose for over a week with the tissue equivalent of sandpaper. By Friday my nose was a giant red scab that bled a little every time I blew my nose. 

So being sick here left a lot to be desired, but yesterday I was reminded of how much I love it here by a bit of adventuring.  I had a friend visiting from the US so, despite being ill, we set off into the desert to see two of Oman's most famous sights - the Bimmah Sinkhole and Wadi Shab.

About an hour and a half outside of Muscat is the Bimmah Sinkhole, which is a naturally occurring sinkhole that you can swim in.  It's fed by a small hole from the ocean, so it's a saltwater pool that manages to remain fresh and cool even in the summer.  There were about six other people there while we were there, but we were frankly in a rush to get on to Wadi Shab, so we didn't spend very long at the sinkhole.

About another fifteen minutes further into the desert is Wadi Shab, which was a bit like showing up on the set of an Indiana Jones movie.  Wadi means "valley" in Arabic, though many of the desert valleys also turn into oases since water coming down from the mountains collects in the valleys and creates pools of water and greenery in the desert.  Here's a few of my favorite shots of Wadi Shab:

This is the view as you first arrive.  For 1 Omani Rial, a local will take you in a boat from the parking lot across the water to the start of the hike. 

The pictures don't do it justice, but the water was crystal clear blue and the rocky mountains on either side were pretty spectacular.  The trip was about 50% walking (or scampering across boulders) and 50% swimming, though apparently in winter there's much more water and there's a lot more swimming involved.

After about an hour of walking/swimming/scampering, you reach a small cave.  You have to swim through a tiny crack in the cave, but when you do you're met with a pretty awesome waterfall that you can climb up and jump off.  I was pretty happy to take in the scenery, so no jumping for me, though swimming through the crack in the cave was definitely an experience.

Despite feeling a little under the weather, it was so nice to finally get to see some of Oman's spectacular scenery, especially since I could show it off to one of my friends from back home!

Stay tuned, I promise I'll start writing more now that I'm not traveling/sick/entertaining friends. 

Clash of Cultures

Okay, so maybe I was a little bit lazy and didn't update my blog while on vacation, but you can hardly blame me since we were pretty busy exploring Northern Europe (and doing an endless amount of walking).  But after only living in Oman for two months, I really felt the clash of cultures between Northern Europe and Oman:

1. Nudity: Oman, as well as other Muslim countries, is very conservative when it comes to nudity or sexuality.  Sex and nude scenes are censored out of movies and TV here, the Victoria's Secret in the mall only sells makeup/perfume and pornography is completely prohibited.  To the contrary, on my very first day in Copenhagen, Denmark I saw a public bus go by with a picture of a woman completely nude from the waist up.  Almost everywhere we went there was a casual attitude towards sex and nudity -- from the photography exhibits in public areas to the advertisements to children's theme parks.  Yeah, you heard me, children's theme parks -- the below picture was taken at the Tivoli Gardens in Copenhagen, which is an amusement park for kids and appeared to have a fake red light district:

In the US we're pretty comfortable flaunting sexuality in advertisements and TV, but seem to draw the line at nudity.  Especially out in public and especially in places where kids might see it.  So I'll admit that even I was a bit shocked to see the casual nudity in Northern Europe.

2. Public Displays of Affection (PDA):  PDA is really frowned upon in Oman and expats are advised not to show affection in public, even if it's as minor as holding hands in public.  Since I'm single, this isn't really something I even noticed until I went to N. Europe and saw PDA everywhere.  Maybe it was the nice summer weather, maybe it's the fact that we were in predominantly college towns or maybe Europeans are just more flamboyant with their affections, but I felt like everywhere we went people were making out or groping one another in public.

3.  Dress:  As I've mentioned before, we're expected to dress somewhat conservatively here (no shoulders, knees or cleavage showing) so as not to offend the locals (many of whom are covered from head to toe in dishdashas or abayas).  Obviously there are no similar constraints in Europe, but it was freaking cold while we were there (weather was 40-60 degrees F while we were there) and often raining, so I really didn't expect to see super short mini skirts or midriff tops.  And considering how many senior citizen tourists there were (not to mention the hordes of Russian tourists), it was not a pretty sight.


As compared to the US, I've always appreciated Europe's more casual attitude towards sex, drugs, homosexuals and just about everything else.  The "live and let live" attitude of most of Europe really suits my own beliefs, but I gotta be honest (and maybe this just means I'm getting old) -- it's kind of nice being in Oman and not seeing people hump each other in public.  And it's even better not to see fat old ladies wearing tube tops and mini skirts.  So while my personal belief is that a government shouldn't tell me how to dress or who to love or what to do with my own body and while I might think it's silly to censor R-rated movies, I'm actually enjoying the more conservative life over here.  Although I think I'm a lot less funny when I don't constantly have ridiculous people to make fun of.

Long story short, Northern Europe was great but I'm glad to be home (and yes, that means Oman)!